Your Geniusness

i'm still alive.

finally finished pledging.

a big OOOO-OOOOOP to the devastating divas of the epsilon beta chapter of delta sigma theta sorority, inc!


#12 the unDiSpuTed --- uppercut

i think my life is about to take an interesting turn. i hesitate to be optimistic but i have this feeling bubbling inside of me that makes me hope for the best. i don't know-- i guess i'll see in a few days.

life has been the same otherwise: school, work, and more school. i just got back from the networking weekend in NYC and i had so.much.fun. seriously. i haven't had that much fun at NWW ever. maybe i'll post pictures later but if you really want to see some, my JRF family posted a ton of boob-a-licious FATTY pictures of me on facebook. just click the link under my big question mark.

my grades are sooo good in school right now. 4.0 semester? maybe. maybe not. we'll see. starting off good doesn't necessarily mean i'll end good. besides, it's stressing me out and i think once i hit that burn out point i'll care less and less.

internship offers are good though... so far i've gotten 6: shell, 2 from nike, hp, ge, and unilever. pretty cool i guess. but makes my decision harder i think. plus, they aren't getting me the information i need to make my decision quick enough. so i guess i need to apply the pressure? i don't know. i've never gotten internship offers this serious before.

that's enough of the update. my first real entry in months. fantastico.

today i met a woman who smelled like something from my childhood. but i couldn't figure out what and that saddened me. i think i am getting old.

working on the project of my life (so far) right now. pray for me/wish me luck/spill some liquor on the curb-- just hope i keep it together long enough to pull it off.

yesterday one of the deans from the business school came up to me (completely unprompted!) and said "i've heard some really good things about you, montoya. you are a very impressive young lady."

man like whoa.

do you think i could put that on my resume?

grades are back. i definitely acheived my goal for this semester.

also, my eye is fine. the nerve's not pinched-- it's myopic (narrow and tilted). and it's in both eyes, not just the left. just means that i will be very very near sighted (read: damn near blind) for the rest of my life. all i will say about that is that i hope i never lose my glasses.

this is going to be an awesome christmas. i was a little worried at first but things are really being taken care of. surprisingly, paul really stepped up and is handling things. we've spent this entire week together shopping, wrapping, and being stupid. it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

otherwise, i've been chilling and worrying about my eye. is it bad that i don't really want to see any of my old friends? this one guy has contacted me numerous times about hanging out and i haven't even responded. bad? yeah i guess so.

i ran into one of my best friends from high school-- she looks really pale, full of makeup, and unbeweaveable. it's weird. she's doing this project popstar thing with beyonce's father so she's steady on the grind. it was nice running in to her and i'm really proud of her for pursuing her dream but i don't know-- made me feel old. i guess i've finally let my sentimentality (is that a word?) towards high school go. made me think that maybe it is time to let some other things go too.

anyway, off to the store to get one last present (a really big one!) for my mom. well, actually, it's paul's present to my mom but whatever. more details on that later.

fall 2005 is now officially over. i guess i did okay-- two As so far (my two MIS classes); still waiting on the other two.

for some reason, something doesn't feel right. like i missed or forgot something. maybe it's because this semester's finals season wasn't as stressful or i didn't go to work today or maybe it's just b/c im tired.

either way, it doesn't matter b/c it's over! trail of lights tonight (yay!) and then back to houston saturday morning. :)

man, school has been cancelled for the past two days due to inclement weather. plus, i can't use my car b/c it has no oil in it. now i don't know what to do with myself.

• Operations Management Paper-- Monday
  
• Database Management Final Exam -- Tuesday
  
• Introduction to Marketing Exam -- Wednesday
  
• VB.Net Program using Arrays -- Thursday
  
• Spring 2006 agenda for BBSA
  
• Budget for BBSA
  
• VB.Net Final Program using everything I guess -- Monday
  

not sure how well i did on my marketing exam but at least it is over. i'm ready to do something fun people. finish your midterms so we can party!

things due this week:

• Operations Management Paper-- Monday
  
• Database Management Final Exam -- Tuesday
  
• Introduction to Marketing Exam -- Wednesday
  
• VB.Net Program using Arrays -- Thursday
  
• Budget for BBSA
  
• Spring 2006 agenda for BBSA
  
• VB.Net Final Program using everything I guess -- Monday
  

so far, so good. i got a perfect score (well over a perfect score since i got the bonus-- *thank you for the SQL help*) on that ASP assignment i worked so hard on saturday. i also kicked ASP ass on the exam today. go me!

now just have to take that stupid marketing test. if you can't tell, i don't feel like studying for it which is why i did my VB.Net program a few days early. it's also why i'm on LJ right now.

things will feel so good once this week is over.

man i totally had something post-worthy happen to me yesterday but i can't remember it.

after a long night of doing hw and playing sexual predator/prey on the internet (ahahaha), i woke up early this morning to continue the hw. so from 9:30am to 6:30pm i was in the millenium lab typing out ASP code and being a nerd. my entire body hurts now and i'm hungry.

i guess the only real news i have to report is that i got glowing reviews yesterday during my employee evaluation. my boss said i'm one of the few PAs (peer advisors) that he has no worries about and he wants me to start considering being a supervisor. it's awesome b/c like i said-- i love my job but i think i've already signed up for too much next semester.

i've already signed up to be a LEAP mentor and a brass ring participant. i'll also be continuing as president of BBSA and a mentor for the terry foundation. i'm waiting to hear back about being the TA for business programming (mis 304) and i want to start volunteering and other things. not to mention the job i already have. adding anything more would be stupid.

right now i just need to take a deep breath and wait for the semester to end.

"i don't know you! that's my purse!" lol i love king of the hill :)

i've been trying to make myself sit down and update this thing for the longest. i've just been really busy with school and everything.

thanksgiving
was wonderful! i think i had too much fun though b/c it's been hard for me to get back into school mode. the entire weekend people were reminding me that i only have 2-3 weeks of school left. now my motivation to actually attend class is completely gone. i guess i don't have much choice though with all these assignments due. it's ridiculous.

but i got to spend some time with my family (including my father and sisters-- yes i finally made the drive out to the boonies they call sugarland), some friends, and paul. that's always nice. this year wasn't a big "food" year b/c i didnt eat much. all the food made me feel really nasty and sleepy so i just didn't eat. still an awesome break though. i didn't even come back until monday afternoon.

school
i came back to a shitload of assignments and a BBSA meeting two days later. i don't know how i've lasted this long but i have and i'm relieved. there are more assignments due but at least the BBSA meeting has passed. once again, it was a very productive meeting. we had another 50-60 people show up and the majority of them were new faces! so it looks like bbsa is going to be quite large.

i feel a lot of pressure though b/c i know some people are waiting for us to fail and it's up to me to make sure that doesn't happen. i'm crazy organized so it would be kind of hard for us to majorly screw up. my organization though sacrifices my time and sometimes my sanity. *sigh* whatever-- it's over, it was great, and it's over.

life overall
life is confusing so i'm trying not to think about it too much. boys and family and school and boys and friends and boys and i guess boyfriends. it's just overwhelming. plus, i think i've shut myself down for so long focusing on school that i've forgotten how to be social. haha i'm a big nerd.

good news though is that i think i will accomplish my goal of obtaining university honors this semester. score one for me! :) now if i can just make myself attend these last few classes...

yeah so things are still looking up. i just got ( this e-mail )

i met the guy when he came into the advising office and he just took an instant liking to me (who wouldn't haha). he kept encouraging me to apply and said he was really eager to read my application. so i figured it was worth a try. plus, the program fulfills my internship requirement for graduation. for the fall 2005 semester he accepted everyone that applied b/c of low demand. apparently, spring is much more popular and competitive so it makes me really happy to know i applied for a competitive program and was accepted.

i also received the news that i was accepted into leadershape. it's this week long program the business school holds with different companies. it's supposed to be about leadership skills and so forth. i didn't really want to go but the lady in the office kind of made me apply. so now in january, i will be hanging out with the cool cats from ford motor company.

it's kind of scary but i'm becoming pretty well known around the b-school and ut in general. i get new facebook friend requests daily and i can't walk around the business school without saying hi to at least 10 people. i guess it's a cool thing but at the same time it freaks me out. i had such a terrible year last year as far as friendships go. but this year i'm really meeting some awesome people and that makes me very happy. i only hope that through this process i stay true to myself and just ride everything out.

all in all, right now, it is feeling really great to be me. :)

off to houston in the morning to surprise my mom with flowers and lunch. HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!! :D

today i was given a certificate for being Peer Advisor of the Month. that made me feel really warm and fuzzy inside b/c i love my job and work my ass off. it's nice to see someone else recognize that. so yay for me!

bbsa is stressful as usual. i hate doing things last minute and i still haven't figured out everything i need to do and the order in which i should do them. i'm not perfect but at least i'm trying.

i had a really morbid thought this morning. i was plugging in my crock pot (mmm i love my crockpot!) and the plug was a little wet. so i thought if i plugged it in and electrocuted myself to death no one would know for at least a week or two. it's not that i don't have any friends/people that care about me; it's just that i'm SO busy ALL the time that they are used to not seeing or hearing from me for weeks at a time. instead of thinking im rotting away in my apartment, they would think i was just being my normal busy self.

i talked to my friend about it and she argued with me that people would notice within a few days. which i guess is kind of true-- they would miss me at work, and i wouldn't show up to class. but it would still be DAYS before someone noticed.

anyway, what that all boils down to is that i should make more time for me/my friends. that is why i decided not to apply to be a student ambassador for the b-school. the guy in charge of it is my boss so i was pretty much a shoo-in. but i think my schedule is going to be packed enough already next semester: 15 hours, two jobs (applying for an internship), leading bbsa, and just being me. that's tiring enough in and of itself.

oh, and i found out i get to go to morton's (why has everyone but me heard about this place?) with an old friend! i've never been to a really fancy restaurant and honestly i fear that my manners are way too crude for such an environment. but i'm going anyway! i'm just flattered he asked :)

i guess i have no real complaints. so yeah life is good :)

yesterday:
melba came into town so that we could go see dave chapelle together. my sister can be an awesome friend (most of the time anyway).

there was some puke or something on my seat and of course i complained. so this guy came and cleaned it but then it was wet. and i refused to spend two hours of my life in my brand new outfit sitting in wetness so i complained again. the guy was sooo nice and guess what-- he moved us from the left side to the center and like a billion rows closer. we were one row away from being on the floor!

dave chapelle, how do i love thee? let me count the ways. that man is so awesome! that show had me laughing so hard and so long i thought i was going to die. it wasn't nearly long enough though. but dave chapelle i still love you.

today:
oops! during all the hollabaloo this weekend i completely neglected my midterm today. this is the first test i've taken without studying. i've always wanted to do that but not until like the last semester of my senior year when it doesn't matter anymore.

so i went to bed super duper late last night and woke up super duper early to study. must have done some good though b/c im sure i got at least a B. or at least i hope i got at least a b.

tomorrow:
get the ball rolling on more BBSA events. i want to have a potluck meet-and-greet with the bbsa officers and members. give everyone a chance to get to know each other in an informal environment but i don't know if we will have time to pull it off. god being president is stressful!!

Name 10 things in no particular order that make you happy and tag five others:

1. Fried Plaintains
2. Getting high fives
3. my family
4. my ipod!
5. random acts of kindness
6. travelling!
7. House (the TV show)
8. going out to eat with friends
9. people who tell it like it is (not for the sake of being mean but to spare themselves from being fake)
10. the christmas season (not necessarily christmas)

i tag: areiser, kwheazy, punkstress, davemarkel (he won't do it), and sushicrusader

i had the most AWESOME day today. for months now, i've been putting together a Black Business Students Association (BBSA). the last business organization for black students eventually fell apart so i was trying to start something new and long lasting. i was working with three other people, one of whom was a COMPLETE pain in the ass.

out of the two official meetings we've had together (once bbsa was shaped and we were ready for the first meeting) he's had two outbursts. the meetings always end in him cursing me out or telling me he hates me or anything else inappropriate. it didn't really bother me for whatever reason-- i just tell him to have a good night and ill see him the next day. it leaves him looking like a jackass and keeps my blood pressure down. but anyway, i had a talk with our "superiors" and we've all decided that he has got to go. look for that drama coming up soon.

anyway, today was the first ever meeting of Black Business Students Association (BBSA). it was led by none other than me-- BBSA President :-D it was AWESOME! we had a wonderful turnout and everyone was really friendly. we had more than enough food and drinks for everyone. it was just a really great meeting.

more than anything i'm proud of myself. b/c i havent stepped up and taken a leadership role since i graduated high school. i've joined things at UT but never actually started or taken charge of anything. this just proved to me that i am a HNIC (if ya'll dont know what that means trust me you don't need to know).

random act of kindness today: one of my bosses, who is also the organization advisor for BBSA, parked my car since i was running late to the meeting (the pain in the ass backed out of his duties so i had to do his stuff at the last minute). i warned him that my low fuel light was on and he would have to find somewhere to park fast. i just thought it was soo nice that he volunteered to park my car that i didn't think anything of it. so anyway, he parked it right across the street from the business bldg, put money in a meter (twice!), and guess what: HE PUT GAS IN MY CAR! i now have a half tank of gas! i think that is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. i almost cried.

i've been really dedicating time to becoming a better person and not letting hateful people around me make me hateful too. yesterday, the entire situation with that guy made me feel like giving it all up and just stabbing him in the neck. but that simple act on my boss' part now makes me feel complete and happy again. so thank you lovelys! :-D

oh, and uh, random side thought: i saw two squirrels humping today lol

now that all the tests,quizzes, and projects are over things are a lot calmer. i actually feel sane. too bad the bags under my eyes have yet to disappear :-/

anyway, i registered for classes last monday, a day before everyone else (yay for priority registration!):
( My classes )

yes, i am taking a class about sex. and unlike the sociology class i registered for last spring, this is the real deal. should be fun and i heard it's an easy A. boo for MIS classes.

---

there is this girl that always comes into the the place where i work and tries to pretend like i'm not there. it doesn't really bother me but i'm writing it in this journal b/c she is the friend of an ex-friend that i know still reads this damn journal. so to the friend of the ex-friend: i don't need to be your best friend to be civil to you. it seems silly and petty for you to come into the office and stand around for anyone besides me to help you. i don't hate you and i think it's sad you would waste your time and energy hating me. so if you ever decide to grow up and act your age, i will be more than ready to smile at you and help you like i help anyone else. i'll even nod your way if i ever see you around campus. i hope you come to your senses soon so i won't waste my time pitying you.

---

anyway, i met this REALLY handsome guy today. everyone is always talking about him but i was always like whatever b/c i'd never met him in person. but damn he is hot. like really really hot. man-- just sexy. anyway, just goes to show how simple things can make your day.

Monday:
project due
meeting for BBSA (org I'm starting)

Tuesday:
two homework assignments due
meeting for BBSA

Wednesday:
quiz
night class

Thursday:
homework assignment due
two tests

i've been running on about 3 hours of sleep a day. it's pretty pathetic b/c the people in the computer lab are starting to recognize me. we just nod at each other like "yeah, i saw you here last night at 2am and yes i see you again this morning at 7" BUT it will all be over tomorrow! yes, i thank god for tomorrow.

in other news, one of my bras is missing. my apartment isn't that big so there are only so many places it could be, right? well as far as i can tell it's not in any of those places. and i've already called paul to see if he took it and he didnt (or at least he says he didnt). the only people with keys to my apartment are me, the maintenance man bill, and the owners. i don't even want to think one of them took my bra.

ugh i need to change my locks.

"get the fuck out of my house! in jesus name i pray!"

god (no pun intended) christians are hypocrites!

this weekend was paul's 21st birthday and for whatever reason he decided to spend it here with me. i was a little scared at first b/c it's his 21st birthday so i felt responsible for making sure it was awesome. but i'm broke and still under 21 so it's not like i could take him to sixth street. it turned out to be great though.

anyway, for those of you bored enough to read it, ( here is a breakdown of our weekend )

now i'm back at home with that empty feeling i always get when he's here and then leaves. we had such a good weekend together: nice and happy and peaceful. so it's sad that he's not here anymore. i hope we have more weekends like this together b/c honestly it was great.

2 tests, a quiz, and a project due this week. ugh back to reality.