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One Bad Mamma Jamma

November 30th, 2005

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i've been trying to make myself sit down and update this thing for the longest. i've just been really busy with school and everything.

thanksgiving
was wonderful! i think i had too much fun though b/c it's been hard for me to get back into school mode. the entire weekend people were reminding me that i only have 2-3 weeks of school left. now my motivation to actually attend class is completely gone. i guess i don't have much choice though with all these assignments due. it's ridiculous.

but i got to spend some time with my family (including my father and sisters-- yes i finally made the drive out to the boonies they call sugarland), some friends, and paul. that's always nice. this year wasn't a big "food" year b/c i didnt eat much. all the food made me feel really nasty and sleepy so i just didn't eat. still an awesome break though. i didn't even come back until monday afternoon.

school
i came back to a shitload of assignments and a BBSA meeting two days later. i don't know how i've lasted this long but i have and i'm relieved. there are more assignments due but at least the BBSA meeting has passed. once again, it was a very productive meeting. we had another 50-60 people show up and the majority of them were new faces! so it looks like bbsa is going to be quite large.

i feel a lot of pressure though b/c i know some people are waiting for us to fail and it's up to me to make sure that doesn't happen. i'm crazy organized so it would be kind of hard for us to majorly screw up. my organization though sacrifices my time and sometimes my sanity. *sigh* whatever-- it's over, it was great, and it's over.

life overall
life is confusing so i'm trying not to think about it too much. boys and family and school and boys and friends and boys and i guess boyfriends. it's just overwhelming. plus, i think i've shut myself down for so long focusing on school that i've forgotten how to be social. haha i'm a big nerd.

good news though is that i think i will accomplish my goal of obtaining university honors this semester. score one for me! :) now if i can just make myself attend these last few classes...

November 22nd, 2005

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yeah so things are still looking up. i just got this e-mailCollapse )

i met the guy when he came into the advising office and he just took an instant liking to me (who wouldn't haha). he kept encouraging me to apply and said he was really eager to read my application. so i figured it was worth a try. plus, the program fulfills my internship requirement for graduation. for the fall 2005 semester he accepted everyone that applied b/c of low demand. apparently, spring is much more popular and competitive so it makes me really happy to know i applied for a competitive program and was accepted.

i also received the news that i was accepted into leadershape. it's this week long program the business school holds with different companies. it's supposed to be about leadership skills and so forth. i didn't really want to go but the lady in the office kind of made me apply. so now in january, i will be hanging out with the cool cats from ford motor company.

it's kind of scary but i'm becoming pretty well known around the b-school and ut in general. i get new facebook friend requests daily and i can't walk around the business school without saying hi to at least 10 people. i guess it's a cool thing but at the same time it freaks me out. i had such a terrible year last year as far as friendships go. but this year i'm really meeting some awesome people and that makes me very happy. i only hope that through this process i stay true to myself and just ride everything out.

all in all, right now, it is feeling really great to be me. :)

off to houston in the morning to surprise my mom with flowers and lunch. HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!! :D

November 15th, 2005

paper, death, and steak

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today i was given a certificate for being Peer Advisor of the Month. that made me feel really warm and fuzzy inside b/c i love my job and work my ass off. it's nice to see someone else recognize that. so yay for me!

bbsa is stressful as usual. i hate doing things last minute and i still haven't figured out everything i need to do and the order in which i should do them. i'm not perfect but at least i'm trying.

i had a really morbid thought this morning. i was plugging in my crock pot (mmm i love my crockpot!) and the plug was a little wet. so i thought if i plugged it in and electrocuted myself to death no one would know for at least a week or two. it's not that i don't have any friends/people that care about me; it's just that i'm SO busy ALL the time that they are used to not seeing or hearing from me for weeks at a time. instead of thinking im rotting away in my apartment, they would think i was just being my normal busy self.

i talked to my friend about it and she argued with me that people would notice within a few days. which i guess is kind of true-- they would miss me at work, and i wouldn't show up to class. but it would still be DAYS before someone noticed.

anyway, what that all boils down to is that i should make more time for me/my friends. that is why i decided not to apply to be a student ambassador for the b-school. the guy in charge of it is my boss so i was pretty much a shoo-in. but i think my schedule is going to be packed enough already next semester: 15 hours, two jobs (applying for an internship), leading bbsa, and just being me. that's tiring enough in and of itself.

oh, and i found out i get to go to morton's (why has everyone but me heard about this place?) with an old friend! i've never been to a really fancy restaurant and honestly i fear that my manners are way too crude for such an environment. but i'm going anyway! i'm just flattered he asked :)

i guess i have no real complaints. so yeah life is good :)

November 14th, 2005

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yesterday:
melba came into town so that we could go see dave chapelle together. my sister can be an awesome friend (most of the time anyway).

there was some puke or something on my seat and of course i complained. so this guy came and cleaned it but then it was wet. and i refused to spend two hours of my life in my brand new outfit sitting in wetness so i complained again. the guy was sooo nice and guess what-- he moved us from the left side to the center and like a billion rows closer. we were one row away from being on the floor!

dave chapelle, how do i love thee? let me count the ways. that man is so awesome! that show had me laughing so hard and so long i thought i was going to die. it wasn't nearly long enough though. but dave chapelle i still love you.

today:
oops! during all the hollabaloo this weekend i completely neglected my midterm today. this is the first test i've taken without studying. i've always wanted to do that but not until like the last semester of my senior year when it doesn't matter anymore.

so i went to bed super duper late last night and woke up super duper early to study. must have done some good though b/c im sure i got at least a B. or at least i hope i got at least a b.

tomorrow:
get the ball rolling on more BBSA events. i want to have a potluck meet-and-greet with the bbsa officers and members. give everyone a chance to get to know each other in an informal environment but i don't know if we will have time to pull it off. god being president is stressful!!

November 12th, 2005

tagged by mare

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Name 10 things in no particular order that make you happy and tag five others:

1. Fried Plaintains
2. Getting high fives
3. my family
4. my ipod!
5. random acts of kindness
6. travelling!
7. House (the TV show)
8. going out to eat with friends
9. people who tell it like it is (not for the sake of being mean but to spare themselves from being fake)
10. the christmas season (not necessarily christmas)

i tag: areiser, kwheazy, punkstress, davemarkel (he won't do it), and sushicrusader

November 9th, 2005

i had the most AWESOME day today. for months now, i've been putting together a Black Business Students Association (BBSA). the last business organization for black students eventually fell apart so i was trying to start something new and long lasting. i was working with three other people, one of whom was a COMPLETE pain in the ass.

out of the two official meetings we've had together (once bbsa was shaped and we were ready for the first meeting) he's had two outbursts. the meetings always end in him cursing me out or telling me he hates me or anything else inappropriate. it didn't really bother me for whatever reason-- i just tell him to have a good night and ill see him the next day. it leaves him looking like a jackass and keeps my blood pressure down. but anyway, i had a talk with our "superiors" and we've all decided that he has got to go. look for that drama coming up soon.

anyway, today was the first ever meeting of Black Business Students Association (BBSA). it was led by none other than me-- BBSA President :-D it was AWESOME! we had a wonderful turnout and everyone was really friendly. we had more than enough food and drinks for everyone. it was just a really great meeting.

more than anything i'm proud of myself. b/c i havent stepped up and taken a leadership role since i graduated high school. i've joined things at UT but never actually started or taken charge of anything. this just proved to me that i am a HNIC (if ya'll dont know what that means trust me you don't need to know).

random act of kindness today: one of my bosses, who is also the organization advisor for BBSA, parked my car since i was running late to the meeting (the pain in the ass backed out of his duties so i had to do his stuff at the last minute). i warned him that my low fuel light was on and he would have to find somewhere to park fast. i just thought it was soo nice that he volunteered to park my car that i didn't think anything of it. so anyway, he parked it right across the street from the business bldg, put money in a meter (twice!), and guess what: HE PUT GAS IN MY CAR! i now have a half tank of gas! i think that is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. i almost cried.

i've been really dedicating time to becoming a better person and not letting hateful people around me make me hateful too. yesterday, the entire situation with that guy made me feel like giving it all up and just stabbing him in the neck. but that simple act on my boss' part now makes me feel complete and happy again. so thank you lovelys! :-D

oh, and uh, random side thought: i saw two squirrels humping today lol

November 7th, 2005

classes and such

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now that all the tests,quizzes, and projects are over things are a lot calmer. i actually feel sane. too bad the bags under my eyes have yet to disappear :-/

anyway, i registered for classes last monday, a day before everyone else (yay for priority registration!):
My classesCollapse )

yes, i am taking a class about sex. and unlike the sociology class i registered for last spring, this is the real deal. should be fun and i heard it's an easy A. boo for MIS classes.



there is this girl that always comes into the the place where i work and tries to pretend like i'm not there. it doesn't really bother me but i'm writing it in this journal b/c she is the friend of an ex-friend that i know still reads this damn journal. so to the friend of the ex-friend: i don't need to be your best friend to be civil to you. it seems silly and petty for you to come into the office and stand around for anyone besides me to help you. i don't hate you and i think it's sad you would waste your time and energy hating me. so if you ever decide to grow up and act your age, i will be more than ready to smile at you and help you like i help anyone else. i'll even nod your way if i ever see you around campus. i hope you come to your senses soon so i won't waste my time pitying you.




anyway, i met this REALLY handsome guy today. everyone is always talking about him but i was always like whatever b/c i'd never met him in person. but damn he is hot. like really really hot. man-- just sexy. anyway, just goes to show how simple things can make your day.

November 2nd, 2005

tooo busy

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Monday:
project due
meeting for BBSA (org I'm starting)

Tuesday:
two homework assignments due
meeting for BBSA

Wednesday:
quiz
night class

Thursday:
homework assignment due
two tests

i've been running on about 3 hours of sleep a day. it's pretty pathetic b/c the people in the computer lab are starting to recognize me. we just nod at each other like "yeah, i saw you here last night at 2am and yes i see you again this morning at 7" BUT it will all be over tomorrow! yes, i thank god for tomorrow.

in other news, one of my bras is missing. my apartment isn't that big so there are only so many places it could be, right? well as far as i can tell it's not in any of those places. and i've already called paul to see if he took it and he didnt (or at least he says he didnt). the only people with keys to my apartment are me, the maintenance man bill, and the owners. i don't even want to think one of them took my bra.

ugh i need to change my locks.

trading spouses

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"get the fuck out of my house! in jesus name i pray!"

god (no pun intended) christians are hypocrites!

October 30th, 2005

happy 21st!

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this weekend was paul's 21st birthday and for whatever reason he decided to spend it here with me. i was a little scared at first b/c it's his 21st birthday so i felt responsible for making sure it was awesome. but i'm broke and still under 21 so it's not like i could take him to sixth street. it turned out to be great though.

anyway, for those of you bored enough to read it, here is a breakdown of our weekendCollapse )

now i'm back at home with that empty feeling i always get when he's here and then leaves. we had such a good weekend together: nice and happy and peaceful. so it's sad that he's not here anymore. i hope we have more weekends like this together b/c honestly it was great.

2 tests, a quiz, and a project due this week. ugh back to reality.
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